#LateAgain



No matter what I do. I'm always late.  Just like this entry. This should have been yesterday's entry. Now you'll probably just get two today. (I wrote that line 12 hours ago.  That's not fuckin happening.)  How lucky are you guys??  Anyway...my tardiness is not my fault. I blame my mother. Latina genetics. It even has a scientific name "la hora de la Cubana".  Look it up if you don't believe me. It's a real thing. No matter what I do I can never be on time and "early" isn't a word I even know. Unless I'm describing getting up at 10am. I can leave my house a whole day early to be somewhere on time and I'll still be late somehow. My mother and sister were blessed with the same curse. 

Life always steps in and somehow fucks me. Last week I left ten minute earlier for work than I usually do.  The following is a rant I sent to my girlfriends recanting that days events. Enjoy!

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Last night I praised this city. Today I want to give it a big old FU  I left my house around five minutes after 3. Normally this is more than enough time for my 3:30 arrival to work. The L train went down...while I was in it at 3:15...went backwards into Brooklyn ....while I was in it. Then I couldn't get a cab (because hoards of other people needed them to get to the city as well) so I was running to get the JMZ. Found a cab. Sat in traffic for thirty mins. Ran to the Essex subway ($15 dollars later) got in the M. Apparently the M runs the J route today. Took me DOWN to chambers. (This is where I cried first). There were two amazing ladies that helped me get to where I needed to go. Got Back on the fake "M" train to canal. From there I got on the F train that was running on the n-q-r. Cause that makes sense. Finally got to union square at 4:15 where I started to run until I saw a cab perfectly placed facing down 5th Ave. Someone was getting out. My luck had changed!! Yay!!! Well let me tell you...it hadn't! This geriatric son of a bitch in the back of the cab wanted a receipt. That's fine. I get it. However, the cab driver didn't know how to refill the paper than had run out. I quit and cried again. I turned around and ran the rest of the way to work where I stress cried AGAIN at 4:29.
You win this time you evil evil city. Thankfully I found two angels to help me. Had I not, I'd be in Chinatown in a puddle of fish guts crying in the fetal position.


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Still here? Maybe that was just a dumb luck bad day?  No. No it was not. It is the story of my life. Somewhere in my own little world I have a Goblin King speeding up time for me...and it's just not fair! (Please tell me this reference was understood by someone!)

I'll admit, sometimes my tardiness is completely my fault.  I feel like I could have plenty of time to leave my house.  Somehow, it disappears.  For example, if i have to leave at 3pm and it's 1pm, I think I'm golden.  I take a shower, make a cup of coffee, sit in my bed and do my hair.  If I'm not binge watching some TV show, either Sophia or the German is on CB.  Either way the odds are against me.  Even though I thought I had plenty of time some black hole opens and sucks up that "plenty".  "Shit! Fuck! It's 2:52 and I'm still not dressed!!!!! HOW IS IT 2:52????? IT WAS JUST 1PM!!!!!!!" Inevitably, I'm out the door and running down the subway platform steps at 3:17...just in time to watch my train doors close and pull away.  Every fucking time.  It's not even like the German is that funny. 😉  

  Anyway, it's nearly 11 pm and i took some nyquil about 20 mins ago.  Hoping to get a solid night's rest and fight off the cold I feel coming on.  I have a big day of being late for everything tomorrow.  

Sleep well my little pervs. 



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