#BLESSED

Holy cow what an adventure this life has been. More specifically the last 12 months. I can’t help but look back on everything that I’ve been blessed with recently and feel emotionally overwhelmed. Yes I’m getting my period, yes I’m a crier and yes I’m just generally an emotion driven person, but that’s not the reason. Okay maybe mildly. The reason is YOU. Chaturbate has changed my life in so many ways i don’t know where to begin counting my blessings. Obviously making a living by having fun with my friends and occasionally getting off is basically a dream come true. It almost seems too good to be true. Jared (CodGod69) once said to me, “I just want to hit the lottery and not have to work or worry ever again.” My response was, “Honestly, I think we already hit that lottery.” Because we truly have. 

Two years ago, this started out for me as a fun way to pass the time and make tokens to shamelessly flirt with Imastudmuffin. That’s all. Haha I never would have imagined in a million years how it would have turned around my entire life.  I have made countless effortless friendships that I couldn’t imagine ever being without. There is a bond between broadcasters that i find so interesting. Perhaps it’s the “yep...i get it...and we’ve seen each other naked”  comrodery. Having the ability to connect with some of these people has been such an incredible experience. Last year it started with Muffin coming to visit for a week. Holy shit was that nerve wracking. I knew he wasn’t going to murder me...hoped.  Still. My first CB offline meetup.  I remember just getting too drunk to figure out how to navigate trains that were under construction to meet him at JFK. “Welcome to New York! Get a cab cause I’m a drunken train wreck!” I think we just got stoned and awkwardly stared at each other for an hour. Thank god his flight came in so late and it was bedtime almost immediately afterwards. 🤣🙌🏻  The rest of the week was all tourism, whiskey and non murdering fun with someone I’m pretty sure is one of the best friends I could have ever hoped for. ❤️

 The following month I had the pleasure of getting black out wasted with Mr. & Mrs. Smith. (Here2please6969 & littlemisshannah)  Holy shit do i love those two! From drinking beer out of princess sippy cups, to unfulfilled pizza promises (😒), throwing up in flower pots and across state lines in front of my boss the next day. It was a night to never forget....if only i could remember it. 🤦🏻‍♀️ 

Then my Aussie Bestie came to see me!!!!!!!!!! Fuck I love that woman!  Sophia (SophiaVonShut) was basically a cam hoe mentor for me. Teaching me the trade and pushing me to commit to it. Thank fuck I had her in my corner or I don’t know where my life would be today. ❤️ I love you (even though you’ll never read this #worstbestieever) enough to hold your puke bag, support your spontaneous napping, share a bed AND cucumber, for you listening to all my crazy bullshit thoughts, for not being afraid to tell me that they’re crazy bullshit thoughts, for your squirrel obsession but mostly for being the best heterosexual life partner I’ve ever had. 😘😘 

Summertime adventures with KBunz!!! That girl is down for any adventure anytime!  From beach days, to birthday concerts,  to movies in the park to getting wasted at FemDom parties, I know I have a PIC locally ready to go no matter how odd the invitation is. 🤣

Then came the infamous #sluttour2017. An amazing cross country trip with some even more amazing people. Met up in Milwaukee and drove to Chicago with Pufu, ctjohnny and Axel (25andfittt). Holy shit is Chicago beautiful or what? We crammed a whole lot into our days during our short visit. Boat tours, target shopping, bean flicking, pizza with PLOOOOOOOOOOO (not going to put his CB name because it’s nonsensical and i can never remember it.  It’s either Pl00001 or Pl000001. You are so dumb. #hideyourkids). The five of us celebrated my cammiversary on cam with all of you! Condoms, spanks, pie face 2.5 gays, glow sticks and awkward motorboats (nice to meet you Axel 😏🤣). Honestly, the only thing missing from that party was some god damned Cheetos. What party doesn’t need Cheetos?  The best part of the trip was for sure the company I had with me (except the time Plooooooo blew me off to have the sex with some girl. I’m assuming it was a girl...but you never know with those half gays. 🤷🏻‍♀️). For sure made some lifelong bonds on that trip.  Then we ditched Plo and flew to sunny California! Muffin and Duke (Dukethedude) joined our group for some Korean BBQ.  I’m not even ashamed by the amount of food we put down.  To be honest, I’m not even sure what any of it was.  I just trusted mama-puslut to feed us to the point of meat sweats. Hiking (walking up the driveway of Griffiths Observatory), dinners, bizarre strip clubs, senseless arguments, too much tequila and not enough pool time.  Perfect week. <3 Coming home from that trip I 100% cried until well over Denver…and then again when I landed in cold ass New York.  #noshame 

Barely even a week later and another crazy CB adventure was next on the books.  The #JaredNationInvasion.  (Kind of proud of that.  Sad we didn’t think of that when he was here.)  Jared came up to go to Exxxotica in Edison, NJ.  Honestly, couldn’t have picked a better escort for that weekend.  Although I show my tits for a living, I’m not always the most outgoing person.  Jared however…is.  He made acclimating into my first Exxxotica experience a breeze.  Meeting other broadcasters and making new friends that weekend was really so much fun!  Can’t wait for Denver to see all those beautiful people again.  Really looking forward to it! 

You know what else I’m looking forward to?  Aside from #muffintakesmanhattan in 2 weeks…this spring brings …. The German (gr8stxxxcock).  Holy shit my stomach already hurts from thinking of all the fucking laughs that are going to happen on that visit.  Although it could be coffee bubble guts.  Hopefully we can find some time to cam up together and you can tip me to smack him in his beautiful face.  It’s like my long lost brother…that I have confusing sexual thoughts about….is coming to visit and I can’t fucking wait! it makes me really happy. *smirk*

Falling back into the “real world” after three straight weeks of nothing but CB people really took some adjusting to fall back into the “real world”.  I realized how much more fun my life as “Nicky” was.  So, I started to “come out” to some (NOT ALL) more friends and my sister.  Now I can say I found my happy medium between the two lives.  

Then there’s all of you.  Holy shit.  I may not have met you in person (except EpicChef ;) ) but I feel like you’re my family.  It’s amazing getting to “work” and hang out with such amazing people.  My “MODerFuckers” are honestly the fucking best.  Even when they’re teaching my cat bad manners, making me cry, ruining my orgasms and silencing my troll playtoys.  Since I don’t actually require “modding” it’s really just my girls and my gays (with a couple straight Canadians and greys bypassing timelock).  The positivity that  you assholes bring into my room is invaluable.  I HATE using the term “fans”.  I feel like it sounds incredibly pompous.  I think “followers” also sounds a little odd.  So, I call you my friends.  Let’s face it…you are.  The harassment, tickles, gifts and good times are so cherished.  

Fuck.  Thank you everyone.  Thank you for giving me the greatest job.  Thank you for introducing me to some amazing people.  Thank you for giving me my best friend.  My person that I couldn’t imagine a day without.  Thank you for supporting me and making me feel a little less shitty about my own self image.  Thank you for constantly supporting me in my journey to become a better version of myself.  Thank you for humbling me and making me cry from your awesomess.  Thank you for making me love you enough to want to sit down and write this blog.  But most of all…thank you for all the laughs.